When did you come to Singapore from China?

Random pic:
What are these?
Bought them from Tekka Market.

Somehow I've been meeting up with quite a few former colleagues in the past few weeks. Some planned, others not. Ran into one while window shopping in a furniture store just before my Korean class. Ran into another while meeting up with yet another.

Some of these people, I used to interact with every single working day. Our recent catch-ups made me realise  how little we knew of one another.

During our conversation, this particular former colleague mentioned bilingualism twice, and, after 10 years,  revealed that he had always thought that I was Chinese. As in... from People's Republic of China?!

I gathered that a combination of factors led to his conclusion:

• My command of Mandarin
• My name
• The interior decoration of my parent's house

WIN. O_o
Remember how my St Nicks classmate likes to call me 'Commie'?

After the 'shocking revelation', we proceeded to discuss the definition of 'being Chinese' in today's context.

• What are 'Chinese values'? 
• Are these values limited to Chinese only? 
• Or are they really Confucian values? 
• If so, Confucian values aren't 'racial'. More cultural. 
• Koreans subscribe to Confucian values too. 
• Which is the more 'Confucian' group? Mainland Chinese or Overseas Chinese? And amongst Overseas Chinese, which sub-groups are more 'Confucian'?
• Etc. 

Halfway through the conversation, we began to realise that our upbringings were similar, i.e. a pair of 南大 Chinese-educated folks who ended up in teaching/academia.

Side note: This demonstrates why I am unable to enjoy social group gatherings, and much prefer one-to-one interactions. The former does not allow indepth interaction, which results in a total waste of time (a few hours each session, each person taking polite turns to contribute something trite to the group conversation). One leaves a group gathering wasted mentally, i.e. not being able to learn more about someone/ something.

Snaps of Our Mundane Life

At around 2am last week, 2 cats were found attempting to prevent 'Good Fren' from packing for his work trip.

Over the XMAS weekend, the Casio I bought for 'Good Fren' 2 XMASes ago gave up on us. This brought us to Bras Basah Complex on Boxing Day, in search of a replacement.

I spotted this golden Casio, and thought it's kinda of retro, but 'Good Fren' refused to wear it because 'gold' is too 'shiny'.

So, in the end, we bought a pair. One in 'silver' for 'Good Fren', and one in 'gold' for me.

I'm sure he will come round to wearing 'gold' in due course. =)

What is the area under your happiness curve?

If you ask the next person you meet about his goal in life, he is most likely to say,"I just want (my wife, my family, myself) to be happy.

What makes happiness?
That's uber subjective. But for the sake of discussion, let's not debate on what who should be happy about. If gaining happiness means one likes to crush bunnies under a thick sheet of glass, so be it... at least, let's not dissect that for this discussion.

Instead, let's focus on happiness maximisation in a relationship.

Take a look at this diagram. If one's life objective is to maximise happiness before one's time on earth expires, it means the net area under the curve has to be maximised. More net area covered, more happiness. Very simple.

Now, ideally, one should find a partner who can, together with you, maximise the net area under the curve, by constantly bringing the happiness level to greater heights. See the green curve for the ideal partnership.

Of course, the Ideal Couple hits rough patches sometimes, and the green curve dips into the Combined Happiness zone. But keeping the ultimate goal in mind, the couple works together to bring themselves back on track for happiness maximisation.

Does cooperation always lead to happiness maximisation?
Not true.
Introducing the Boring Couple using the blue curve.

Basically, this flat relationship is kept at a constantly cordial level which is marginally above feeling negative. This strategy is primarily employed to avoid unhappiness, while also avoiding growth.

At the end of the relationship, when either partner passes on, the area under the blue curve is merely a fraction of the green curve... and is possibly even shorter than the couple with the red curve who broke up before Death came along.

The red curve belongs to a couple in a volatile relationship. This relationship hits super highs and super lows, and is, most often than not, terminated quickly.

While the blue curve couple may be (privately) scorning the reds for not 'completing' the relationship, i.e. till death do us part, we must bear in mind that the area under the volatile red curve may just as well outdo the boring blue curve. The reds, in their shorter relationships, get to experience more happy memories, than the boring blues.

In other words, boring blue is 'safe', but forgettable, and not really that happy afterall.

But nothing beats the yellow curve. It's so special that I have featured it on its own.

As you can tell, the net area under the yellow curve is NEGATIVE. The actors in this relationship spend their lives in the Combined Unhappiness zone... till Death comes along to relieve them of their burden.

Why would anyone do this to themselves?
Coz not having a partner would drop them further into the Combined Unhappiness zone permanently. They would rather have no happiness and/or some unhappiness, than to be extremely unhappy.

In summary:

• The Green Curve - Maximises happiness through sustained cooperation
• The Red Curve - Experiences extreme highs and lows, relationship truncated
• The Blue Curve - Avoids extremes, leading to no happiness maximisation
• The Yellow Curve - Not interested in happiness maximisation, only interested in being in a relationship (form over substance)

Which curve are your partner and you on?
Is this what you want?

FREAKY

Guess what came in the mail today, addressed to me?

A set of purple Victoria's Secret bra and panties, with no note/ message/ card or return address.

It's so freaky that I can't even bring myself to take a pic of them.

I washed my hands in dettol after touching the stuff.

'Good Fren' doesn't think it's funny either.

Fire at Marina Bay Sands!!

At around 6.30pm today, we were on our way to MBS to check out CUT, when we saw this from a distance.

Smoke rising from the exhibition centre at MBS.

I turned to 'Good Fren',"Uh oh! MBS on fire! No medium rare steak for us tonight!"

As we got nearer, the source of the fire became clear.

The burning crane has smoked out one of the 'lotus petals'.

Well, since the building is not on fire, we thought we could carry on with our dinner. But we were all too wrong. The entrance to the north carpark was blocked with a sign attempting to direct drivers to park at Marina South. WTF?!! There is no way we are gonna park away from MBS, and have to walk to and fro MBS for a meal.

And such, we decided that the fire is an omen. Today was not a good day for steak. And so, we drove home. =)

Kidney recipient finds out donor is wife's lover

Kidney recipient finds out donor is wife's lover

I find this story disturbing.

The wife is an inhumane drama queen.

Even if her marriage is unhappy (she claims spousal violence), she has no right to extensively cheat on her husband by:

1. Having an affair
2. Having another man's child and misleading her husband into thinking she's his; and 
3. Lying about her relationship with the husband's transplant donor. 

She probably feels better about herself by offering her lover's kidney to her husband. She has 'made up' for everything.

I cannot express my sympathy for the husband enough.

It is only reasonable for the husband to get mad, and in the process, unfortunately hurting the poor security guard. For that, the poor husband has to go to jail, while the wife and her obedient lover continue to their special relationship with their love child, and enjoy one another's company.

Instead of ending her so-called unhappy marriage, or simply killing her husband, she subjects him to such extreme humiliation and suffering. She's inhumane. If this is not fucked up, what is?

Love has no recourse. Not even marriage.

Geeks Rule!

Facebook co-founder named TIME magazine person of the year

Check out the Adidas slippers?!

PS. Cafe A.S.H Park

If you are looking for a cosy and long dinner of great steak (and other stuff) in a not-so-glossy part of town, PS. Cafe A.S.H. Park is a wonderful option. A.S.H. stands for Ann Siang Hill.

We weren't headed for PS. Cafe that evening, but Les Bouchons at Ann Siang Hill. Alas, we had no reservations and the waiter/manager was extremely rude. HJ, who works in the area, suggested that we ought to head to PS. Cafe. 

Initially, I wasn't keen. Coz my previous encounters with PS. Cafes were not too positive. Paragon and Dempsey. Waited too long for service. Paid too much for average stuff. And the overall concept was too yuppie for me. And that was a few years ago...

But, we wanted steak, and HJ sounded really sure about the new PS. Cafe at ASH. So, we gave it a try. And we are VERY HAPPY that we did!

Apart from high quality food, this honest house rule sets PS. Cafe A.S.H Park apart from its competitors. 

This house rule ensures the quality of your dining experience. I applaud the owners for placing it upfront, i.e. at the door and on its website.

The entrance of this PS Cafe opens up to its bar. Have a drink and chat while you wait for your friends and table.

The dining area is on the second floor, lined with aged mirrors and oversized leaf arrangements. While you wait for your food, you will feel that you do not have enough time to consume all the little details which the owners have put together.

This is just for record, i.e. 'Good Fren' had dinner with me that day. =)

I hear from a friend in the design circle that the owners have paid special attention to the unseen areas of this PS Cafe, i.e. the kitchen. No stinging on floor area devoted to the kitchen as 'the chefs need to be happy in their space'. I didn't get to see the kitchen. Maybe another time.

Let's get down to the food!!

To start, 'Good Fren' and I decided on the same combination of Roasted Roma Tomato Bread Boule and Crispy Triple Cheese Toast without consulting each other. FREAKY!

Of course, Mr Steak Man ordered steak. And a double-steak. It was a wagyu and another. Ask for the grill menu.

And guess what? We were at Mortons just a week ago. Those over-priced and over-sized pieces of obscenities would be an embarrassment in the presence of the above. On top of that, the Mortons waitress just kept pushing and pushing in her fake American accent. The experience was so bad that (i) I couldn't bring myself to photograph the food, and (ii) I felt like I was in a cheap themed restaurant. ROAR!!

Ok, back to really good experiences...

Here you see 'Good Fren' requesting for different types of sauces to go with his steaks.

Still scarred from the Mortons episode, I couldn't bring myself to order beef or lamb, so I went for prawns instead. These are flamed prawns, off the regular menu.

I eyed it suspiciously as it landed in front of me. All ready for a not-so-great experience due to the size of the pasta and the thick creamy sauce coating everything. Fortunately, I was proven wrong! It was utterly enjoyable! Would have been great with a glass of wine, but I have stopped drinking for a while. I even finished the tomatoes.

Pardon the picture, but these have got to be the best profiteroles I've ever had. Even better than those I've had in the UK.

We also had a slice of cake. Chocolate banana, I hope. It was good too, but I couldn't get a good pic of it under the dim light.

PS. Cafe A.S.H. Park definitely gives our favourite regular steak place, Bistro Petit Salut, a run for its money.

Next stop: CUT at MBS. << 'Good Fren' loves steak. O_o

Tuition hike protesters attack car carrying Prince Charles, Camilla - CNN.com

Tuition hike protesters attack car carrying Prince Charles, Camilla - CNN.com



This will never happen in Singapore. What do you think?

Hello Stranger

A Thai film about a pair of Thai strangers who ended up in Seoul. Suffering from relationship problems, this handsome pair found solace in each other's anonymity and the seduction of Seoul city.

A sweet sweet love story. One which I admit I had ever daydreamt about while on a holiday.

Not mind-blowing, but definitely feel-good.

Where do maids/helpers sleep?

Where do maids/helpers sleep, especially in a HDB flat context?

I grew up in an apartment with an extra room at the back, after the kitchen. That's our maid's room. A good size room that could easily fit a single bed, a wardrobe, a large ironing board and even a sewing table, all with easy circulation ... the room's possibly bigger than some condo bedrooms these days. I remember bringing home stray kittens and hiding them in the maid's room. 


25 years later, we moved to a house, where there was a maid's room after the kitchen too.


But these days, flats and apartments are so tiny. So where do the maid sleep?

The great internet suggested the following alternatives:

• In the kid's room - I guess the sleep cycles for the kid and the maid could be similar, but doesn't a constant lack of privacy affect the psychological welfare of the maid? Also, squeezing an adult and a child into the same room must mean a double-decker/pull-out bed? What about her stuff?
• In the bomb shelter - This option allows for privacy by the bomb shelter wasn't built for this purpose. Ventilation is a huge problem, isn't it?
• In the living room - Isn't this arrangement that weird for the maid and the family? How does the maid rest well by sleeping in the living room?

The Wrong SMS

This is one of those stories that you listen to and forget. At least that's what I have been doing, until I recently realise that it's common. So common that it may be termed as a phenomenon. I must have heard similar stories more than 10 times since I've started working.

So what's the story?

Different friends have told me that either they or someone else had sent an SMS or, in even more perplexing situations, an email to X containing content which is essentially bitching about X. O_o

Usually, the story-telling would start with a huge bitch fest about X.

A: I tell you... This X... She's absolutely a bitch... She doesn't do much in the office... Dunno how she got this job... I heard she was asked to leave from her previous firm...

BM: Really?

A: Yeah... And that time... We were working on the same project... She was a freeloader. She didn't do much... Always trying to push work to other people. Y and I got so pissed with her...

BM: Wah... Can like that meh?

A: And once, I got so pissed with X, I was complaining to Y about her over SMS when I accidentally sent X the SMS!

BM: WTF? Then how?

A: Act blur lor... She didn't dare to ask me about me... All the more shows that she is guilty, RIGHT?! BITCH! ... blah blah blah... 
....................................................

Regardless how frustrating the situation had been for A, I am amazed at how emotional one can get to send an SMS to the wrong person.

One can imagine how the brain, all charged up with negative emotions about X, gets short-circuited, causing the thumbs and fingers to search for X's name in the mobile phone, ultimately pressing the SEND button.

The current day and age are extremely dangerous for one without much self-control, because there are tools within reach everywhere for great damage to be done. Irreparable damage. One can ignore or deny the consequences, but eventually, it will come back and bite you in the behind. *ouch*

Singapore should have its own definition of being modern

TODAYonline | Voices | Singapore should have its own definition of being modern

I am of the view that Singapore, starting from its post-independence days till about 1980s, had been 'modern' in its own right. Figuring out its own direction and standards.

However, the obsession with 'benchmarking' set in in the 1990s. One must be reminded that the objective of 'benchmarking' is not to copy.