Real Steel

I didn't want to watch this coz I dislike wrestling and boxing... The concept of human violence for entertainment is simply perverted.

But Real Steel is not about human violence. It's about robots in the boxing ring, and how the robots are a platform upon which a pair of cheeky long-lost father and son began to build their non-existent relationship.

When Hugh Jackman isn't stuck behind Wolverine's fur and personality, Hugh Jackman can act.

The little Canadian boy, Dakota Goyo, can act... very well. It seems if one is not American, one must be an exceptionally good actor to get into Hollywood. And he is very cute.

And the robots... I was kind of holding onto my seat... in preparation for unnecessary anthropomophication of the robots... You know... The robot has some secret ability to think on its own, has feelings, wanna save his human boyfriend etc. But I was pleasantly surprised. None of that rubbish. Which is refreshing. Dreamworks makes good films.

the Help

If you like Desperate Housewives, the Help will rock your weekend at the cinema.

I love the hypocrisy.
The 'toilet initiative' by that white lady, especially the way she pitches as if it's an upgrade for the black helpers. And of course, the benefit night for African children.

Not too different from our daily lives, if you pay close attention.

Midnight in Paris

You have to watch Midnight in Paris.

I don't wanna say too much about the film, coz I can't do that without giving the plot away.

The first lady of the French Republic, Carla Bruni, has a role it.

I think, in a way, Woody Allen indulges in the fact that he will be remembered and lauded in the future, just like how we remember the past artists today.

I love this dress. It's feminine, chirpy, yet modest and comfortable.
Real people should wear clothes like that all the time.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

If you haven't caught Rise of the Planet of the Apes... Please do so soon. It's much much better than the Planet of the Apes which was screened 10 years ago. In fact, it's a standalone story.

I think, this film is simply,

Rise of the Planet of the Apes 

= (监狱风云 + Ape Terrorists ) x Contagion

The Primate Inmates on the loose (from left): Maurice, Caesar, Buck & Rocket

**Spoiler Ahead**

I shan't give you a summary of the storyline, but I want to focus on a specific feature in the story.

As Caesar embarked on his journey to unite and control the primates in the enclosure, he gave the dominant ape, Rocket, some cookies, which Rocket enjoyed very much. Then Caesar allowed Rocket to have the honour of being the 'sole distributor' of cookies to the rest, making everyone very happy and loyal in the process.

One of the more intelligent primates, an orang utan called Maurice, later asked Caesar in sign language:

Why Cookie Rocket?

I think this is the most brilliant touch of this film.
I love how Caesar had made use of Rocket by giving him the cookies and their sole distributorship, especially how the cookies were in fact acquired by outwitting the enemy.
Do you see the familiar parallel?
This Caesar vs Cookie Rocket system?
It's reminiscent of a system that has worked well in SG to command and control.

Caesar believed that the primates must unite, but Maurice thought that the primates couldn't be united because they were fundamentally stupid. After which Caesar decided to make them 'smarter'. I thought that's like introducing systematic public education. Just cannot make them smarter than Caesar. LOL!!

Btw, I am not the only person on earth getting all excited over 'Why Cookie Rocket?'. This is a universally powerful message, and it has taken on a life of its own since the film's opening. You can google it.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Apart from the great fight scenes (they fight like Asian wushu masters), Transformers: Dark of the Moon is a disappointment.

Mainly, it's due to the faulty story line.

(A) Be Careful of the Foreign Talents: They bring with them their personal baggage.
By allowing the Autobots to hang around on Earth (specifically in the US), the Autobots brought along their personal baggage such as their homeland problems with the Decepticons, and had it resolved on Earth.

(B) Optimus Prime is a human (American)-lover.
It makes him quite a bit of an SPG. It's too weird.

I also think that Optimus Prime secretly want to be the leader of Autobots AND Decepticons. Hence the ruthless eradication of Megatron and Sentinel Prime.

Optimus Prime is such a yawn!

Another complaint! Megatron died all too quickly in this episode. They made him lame like Starscream in this episode. Very disappointed.

The only saving grace is Sentinel Prime, the coolest Autobot ever. (Usually, only Decepticons are cool.)

I love his weapons and his fluid and swift fight moves. And his goal is correct. Only to be overruled by the 'righteous' Optimus Prime. *snore*

Biutiful

Set in the usually beautiful city of Barcelona, this award-winning film is VERY DEPRESSING to watch.

And I believe the reality for some people in such unfortunate positions is similar to what's been depicted in this film. There are people who are simply helpless, not matter how hard they try. This helplessness can be found everywhere, around the world.

I took 1 hour after the film to get over the discomfort.



Also, it's a 2.5 hour film. Empty your bladder before.

关云长 The Lost Bladesman

I'm not a historian, but the story told in this film doesn't feel right.

It makes Guan Yu like some kind horny boh nai hor wushu champion, who had absolutely no control over anything in his life, except over his halberd.

During a particular scene where Guan Yu allowed his friend to attack him with a poisonous dart, to which the friend reciprocated by not dodging Guan Yu's blow to his own shoulder, one of the chatty Gen Y girls sitting next to me blurted a very clear "WHAT THE FUCK?!!", much to the amusement of everyone else in the theatre.

These days... If you are my friend, you should not be attacking me in any way, and/or for anyone... even the freaking emperor. If you do, loyalty fails.

As Oahiz_Wanders puts it, Donnie Yen is a skinny and emo Guan Yu. He is too small ('Good Fren' uses the term 'sun-por') and modern-looking to be a convincing Guan Yu. And his tan is so fake. Might as well get 刘青云 for the role.

However, the fight scenes are decent.
I am afraid the producers cannot claim that 'No animals have been injured during filming".

Still waiting for my time-travelling 关公 to hit the screens.

"I think it will be great fun to make a film/series about 关公 getting trapped in a modern man's body, i.e. a test of his values of loyalty (忠) and righteousness (义) in the contemporary context.

Best to set him amidst different social contexts, e.g. amidst a bunch of investment bankers, a bunch of politicians and civil servants, a bunch of gay men, a bunch of male academics, a bunch of hard laborers, a bunch of male cabbies. =))

Imagine 关公 hanging out at Velvet after a week of 'investment banking' with his competitive colleagues trying to outdo one another in their flashy cars, talking about wine, and scoring with the chicks with plastic faces/hair/nail extensions and wearing almost nothing..."

倩女幽魂 2011

This is not good at all. Poor (read: Mediacorp-ish) acting with a budget on steroids.

There are only 2 good things about this remake.
(i) Louis Koo
(ii) Kara Hui as a beautiful 佬佬. I think she's very hot. Did you know that she's not Han Chinese? She's Manchurian. Hence, her killer looks. If I were a rich man, I'd want her to be one of my wives. Along with 细细粒 aka Gigi Lai.

No one, I repeat, NO ONE can ever replace clumsy Leslie Cheung and sultry Joey Wong in 倩女幽魂.

A PRC ghost story just isn't the same as A Chinese Ghost Story.

Arthur

Bring your girlfriend and have a laugh at Arthur. Other than that, it's quite senseless.

Limitless

Limitless is fun to watch, and not to far off from reality, if you think about it.

Norwegian Wood

If you are looking for a slow and boring film about beautiful young people in the late 1960s who find it difficult to deal with suicides, raging hormones, sex, themselves etc.

Such a novel and film are products of a time and space of grotesque wealth and extreme meaninglessness.

Call me a brute, but you are better off watching Limitless. At least it hits you quickly. Pun totally intended.

Sucker Punch

Sucker Punch ain't that bad.

Not 1 but 5 violent babes always make good entertainment.
Who's your favourite?
I'm trying to decide between Rocket and Amber.
Nope, I don't think BabyDoll is that great.
I like Rocket's andro look. And her hair is totally manga. Like Gackt's.
Amber is just cute. She's that Korean girl acting as a Japanese chick in that cheesy TV series called Samurai Girl.

The only reason why Sucker Punch isn't more popular is because of its confusing story-telling methods. The hallucinations were not in-your-face ones during the course of the film. But hey! Who says this film holds the key to the meaning of life, right? Who cares about the story or its meaning?

It's just a bunch of hot babes in really tiny clothings, with really gorgeous hairdos, jumping around, killing people and creatures with huge-ass machine guns, samurai swords, knives and whatever you can think of in an ultra manga fashion.

Unfortunately, Snyder made his female protagonists talk too much. There is simply too much dialogue. And the dialogue is too literal.

Sucker Punch is Snyder's way of showing off his techniques. I was telling my cousin. It's like Snyder's masturbating. I think the use of the word 'masturbating' shocked my 20 year old cousin.

Anyway, Sucker Punch's almost as violent as Battle Royale, but hey... Only the Japanese can pull off something as stylo-mylo as Battle Royale. Did you know that they have released a 3D version of Battle Royale?! I hope it makes its way to our shores soon!

Oh... One more thing... The soundtrack sounds buy-able.
Emily Browning's Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) is alright.


No one can beat Manson's rendition... yet. =)

All About Love《得閒炒飯》

I went to Cathay to catch All About Love《得閒炒飯》.

When I go into the cinema, I did a double take.
The cinema was filled with middle-aged men.

Then I realised what's happening...

1. R21 film
2. Vivian Chow
3. Lesbians kissing

The uncles must have been sorely disappointed as the most sexual scene between Sandra Ng and Vivian Chow was the giggling kissing scene in the lift, which lasted less than a minute.

Did you know that Sandra Ng and Vivian Chow are only 2 years apart? 

46 years old and 44 years old.

Vivian Chow is still as hot as ever.
She is so fair. I wanna touch her.
Her creamy white fingers gently holding on a cigarette... Oh...
She will forever be 玉女掌门人, even when she's no longer in her 20s.

It was a pleasant surprise to see Fung Bo Bo in the film.

The story line is in general kind of lame. The film tries to explore homosexual, bisexual dilemmas, accented with confusion/lack of gender roles, commitment phobia etc.

Nevertheless, it's definitely worth my 'Good Fren's money to see Vivian Chow in action again. Reminds me of her role in 大时代 as 阮梅 aka 慳妹. Sigh...

True Grit

True Grit is gritty and does not sit all-so-well with me because of (i) the unrealistic outcomes of arguments made by a pugnacious 14 year old, and (ii) the dirty protagonists.

If you have time and $6, why not.

Never Let Me Go

Never Let Me Go is a sad sad story set in bleak bits of England, and is superior to mass-popular films such as the Black Swan and the King's Speech. Takes a Japanese to write something so brilliantly nuanced.

But idiots in the cinema were too stupid to see it. They were too caught up with giggling at kissing and sex scenes. I abhor cinema idiots.

Hope is cruel. So excruciatingly cruel.
The experiences of the protagonists in this film are not too different from your life and mine. That we have no control, and no real choice. That one can only shout/scream in anguish.

The King's Speech

As a film, it's enjoyable. Lovely actors, sets, costumes, dialogues etc.

As a true story... It makes me wonder about how 'brave' the King really is.
I mean... who doesn't have crosses to bear?
As a member of the royal family, one has the responsibility to carry one's duty for one's country. Nothing 'exceptional' about that.

A king overcomes his stutter, he gets applause for war speeches, name goes down in history, a film is made about him decades later.

A commoner overcomes the same stutter, he may get a good grade for language in school, get a decent job, start a family, ages, dies...

Same stutter, same effort to overcome it, but no award-winning film made about the stuttering commoner.

It's the King's Speech, silly.
Not the commoner's speech.

Uncle Boonmee

I fell asleep MULTIPLE TIMES while watching this.

If you are interested in watching an ugly princess have sex with a catfish, a long lost son who has turned into a hairy red-eyed monkey coz he mated with one, and a farmer die of kidney failure... You may like this film.

I walked out of the theatre with 20 mins of the film left, and headed for Mos Burger. Bloody waste of my SGD6.

Black Swan & I Love Hong Kong

It's a bad idea to watch Black Swan and I Love Hong Kong back-to-back, in the same cinema, and in the same seat.

I love Hong Kong is a typically lousy lunar new year production. So, it's not a surprise. It's like 小人物的心声 on steroids.

Despite the awards this film has collected, I didn't think Black Swan was that great.

I mean... it has pretty people (Oh! Winona Ryder and that sexy Mila Kunis), loud dramatic music, great make-up and costumes, some sex scenes... and of course, the atas cultural activity called ballet. But I don't get it. Not a fan of uptight perfectionists, especially female ones. Boring.

We are gonna catch the King's Speech this evening. I hope it lives up to its name.

Facing Ali

"Float like a butterfly,

Sting like a bee."

Hello Stranger

A Thai film about a pair of Thai strangers who ended up in Seoul. Suffering from relationship problems, this handsome pair found solace in each other's anonymity and the seduction of Seoul city.

A sweet sweet love story. One which I admit I had ever daydreamt about while on a holiday.

Not mind-blowing, but definitely feel-good.