The Happy Cane

Do these look familiar? =))

As many of my peers enter that period of parenthood when their children are no longer sweet angels who can do no wrong, there is constant debate on whether to cane one's children.

Caning is barbaric. 

Erm... No... Children and people who have not been disciplined... Now, those are barbaric.

Whenever I observe people to be 'ugly' in terms of behaviour, I find myself imagining about these people's babyhood and childhood. How many people had coo-ed over them. So cute! What an angel! That they too were once deemed as symbols of 'innocence'. Whether anyone want to stop and see that greedy, dishonest, cruel people were once cutie pie babies too.

Of course, I do not have any children. No one should take my word on any parenting-related issue seriously. Regardless of my childless-ness, I am a firm believer of "Spare the rod and spoil the child."

We are all barbarians, until we start to learn and practise human values. Do not for a moment lie to yourself about these values being 'natural'. Many people are unable to learn and practise these values despite coming into contact with them for decades. Hence, a system of incentives and disincentives has to be devised to prod human beings along this learning journey.

But caning is just an easy way out.
Wrong. Caning is one of the parenting options.
And caning is an art.

I remember my folks giving my brother and me the task of going to the minimart to buy our canes. I still cannot decide which is more sickening, i.e. (i) the fact that my folks got us to buy our canes, or (ii) that my brother and I were giggling as we rationalised that we ought to get the thicker canes because those were likely to be less painful, i.e. the force would be distributed over a greater area of contact.

My folks also made us surface the canes when the occasion calls for them. This is to avoid a situation where they cannot find the well-hidden canes, causing the moment to 'lose form' and deflate.
It's also kind of 'democratic' coz it gave one a last-minute choice amongst (i) the thicker canes, (ii) the thinner canes, (iii) the broken/split canes, and (iv) anything Papa can get his hands on (this is not funny at all when it happens). There is always a choice, right?

According to a 1999 newspaper report, these canes fly off the shelves most during the examination period. I think that is too late. Such a system of incentives/disincentives ought to be practised consistently and regularly. This is to avoid shock, when still sending the right messages to its recipient. It's also to ensure dexterity on the part of the enforcer. Needless to say, it takes discipline to discipline. Obvious, no?

Of coz, as with everything and anything (DOTA, exercise, drinking, love, hate, honesty, Angry Birds, checking on the hatchlings in the balcony etc), moderation is key.

A parent holding a quivering cane in his muscular hand can morph into a range of roles: a paper tiger, a stern yet effective disciplinarian, or simply, a child abuser. Physical and emotional.

Unfortunately, no one is there to stop the parent in any case, because society has voted for this to be acceptable. If not, parenting would be licensed.
......................................................................

Back to my imaginary kid...

I think I will offer him the following punishments for being naughty:

1. 10 strokes of the cane, or grounding up to 1 month, or both. May be shortened based on good behaviour.
2. Life sentence - Carry your own bag, including NS backpack, for life. No appeal. 

Looks familiar?